BACK OFF YOU
BULLIES! PT-2. WHEN HATERS REALLY NEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP! September
Anyone out there in the US who is not deeply affected by the death of Buffalo teenager Jamey Rodemeyer needs a serious reality check. This 14 yr old boy was the fourth teen this month bullied to the point of taking his life. Bullied in school for being different also spread to the internet. “You weren’t born this way, you should have never been born” “Jamie is stupid, gay, fat & ugly. He must die” are 2 examples of the hate speech that where posted. What message are kids receiving to think that this kind of bullying is acceptable?
A freshman in high school Jamey blogged openly about his issues and freely advocated about the things he was enduring. Friends reported his treatment to guidance counselors and those around him recently felt he was stronger. Jamey was enormously influenced by Lady Gaga and he quoted the lyrics of her song Born This Way “Hold your head and you’ll go far; Love yourself & your set!”
He recently said online “I always say how bullied I am but no one listens. What do I have to do so people will listen?” Jamey was found dead outside his home on Sunday morning, details where not released by the Police. In a video blog in May he said “People don’t want me to die” How desperate must this young man have been to take his own life? Do we need any more evidence that we now have a pandemic of bullying on our hands?
When I heard what had happened I cried and felt so many emotions about what Jamey had gone through. I related so closely to his experiences which was maybe a big factor in the level of my response. It is over two decades since I was in school and STILL this archaic form of torture is occurring. When as a society will we learn how damaging it is bullying is to anyone, let alone a young person at such a crucial stage in their development. My sadness has prompted me to do something more to raise awareness.
Gay white males are 5 times more likely to commit suicide in response to their treatment. LGBT kids or those who are perceived to be are victimized at a higher rate than the regular student population. They are taunted on average of 26 times per day. Sixty thousand children stay away from school every day out of fear. Although gay rights issues have been furthered in the past few years there is clearly a long way to go, and we all have a role to play in this. Even the language we choose makes a great deal of difference to what we put out there into the world.
The bullies/haters are clearly culpable in this instance and calls for an anti bullying laws continue with the likes of Lady Gaga, Anderson Cooper and Dan Savage pushing for the changes. Lady Gaga tweeted:"Bullying must become illegal. It is a hate crime". Police have apparently and quite rightly opened an investigation into this Jamey’s death. Someone needs to be held accountable for this young mans unnecessary death and urgent changes need to be made in Jamey’s school, Williamsville North High in Buffalo.
The School has scheduled a parent forum on October 25th on teen depression and suicide awareness, in order to enable similarly bullied students to seek help. This is too little too lately for Jamey, although I am sure other students will benefit. Teachers don’t need any special training for this. Isn’t it simple enough to request that hate speech is NOT used in the classroom? I am sure most Teachers are very fair but as I have said before they cannot be everywhere.
I am reminded once again of Tyler Clementi, an 18 year old student who committed suicide after being filmed having sex and feeling so ridiculed regarding his sexual orientation. Although prosecutions are afoot, his roommate is denying this was a bias crime. I am left wondering then where are the videos of his heterosexual fellow students having sex? This is yet another senseless death of someone who was harassed for his sexual orientation and it is clear that we are not doing enough as a society to effect change which highlights the need for legislation.
A House bill 370 in Kentucky has been raised to prohibit bullying because of a students sexual orientation, race or religion. Some idiots are terming anti bullying of young gay people as “a homosexual agenda”. Do people really think you can catch it? There is no agenda other than that protecting individuals and making sure they are safe. Using a neutrality perspective is not an option either as ultimately it further enables the bullies in their tirade.
State law maker Mike Harmon (R) Kentucky, doesn’t want Christian young people to be labeled as bullies for having a moral or religious beliefs or for thinking homosexuality is a sin, but has little to say about gay young people being bullied for their sexual orientation. This really is the trickle effect of hate in action. When air-heads like Harmon make statements of this ilk they breed hatred and frankly give Christians a bad name. Christian children cannot use their religious beliefs as license to bully. Where is the love?
The God that I know and love is a God of love and does not promote this kind response. Harmon is a hypocrite! I do not believe homosexuality is a sin but if as a Christian you do, surely you are commanded to love the sinner? This message promoted breeds hatred and excuses intolerance. It is so important that we do not allow people in power to use their religious beliefs to effect change. Where in this issue is the separation of Church and State?
Candi Cushman’s (Focus on the Family) recent comments leave reaching for the sick bucket! She said “What parents need to be aware of is that there are activists groups who want to promote homosexuality to kids because they realize they can capture hearts and minds of our children at the earliest stages, they will have for all practical purposes won the clash of values we are currently experiencing!
If anyone has an agenda, clearly it is Cushman. Her comments reek of hate and frankly the only thing being promoted is Equality. Gay people do not need to promote homosexuality. There will always be gay people, it is a given. Unfortunately bigots like her cannot see the importance of teaching equality and tolerance to children and young people. If she had been taught about these things from an early age then maybe she would not have such tunnel vision. In my fight for equality I am not just fighting for the rights of gay people, I am fighting for the rights of all people.
How Cushman can write about “True Tolerance” and have a response like this is most worrying. For her to see activism in the gay community as having an agenda differently from what it actually is is just another attempt to muddy the waters. Her statements are very much open to interpretation and have to be read several times in order to conceptualize. Can we see Cushman’s agenda emerging?
She spews about the rights of everybody but homosexuals, and then contradicts herself. Her comments contribute to not only a societal problem, but a global problem, which feeds into the pandemic of bullying, harassment & inequality.
She needs to practice what she preaches. Whilst children are still killing themselves because they cannot deal with their treatment at the hands of bullies we need to address the issue head on and NOT pontificate on irrelevancies and diversionary tactics.
The fight for equality is a fight that is ongoing and the haters in America need to shut the fuck up. This country was founded on Democracy, Freedom & Liberty for all and it seems we have forgotten these fundaments along the way. Children are the future and we need to protect and cherish them and ensure they are not treated this way or Jamey and the other young people who took their own lives have died in vain. Use your platform in life wisely and ensure equality for all.
We need to see the issues and not sidestep or use a sad situation to create more hate. Society changes steadily but all the while hatred is being poured in we will see it trickle down. We need to educate from ground level and teach an attitude of tolerance towards those who are different to us. This doesn’t make them bad or wrong, but should not make them a target for mistreatment. Don’t be afraid to speak out against this kind of injustice and discrimination. We will get there x
Please pray Candi Cushman as she clearly needs it!
"Don't forget me when I come crying to heaven's door." (Lady Gaga)
Peace and Luv, Xan x
RIP Jamey Rodemeyer and all the young people who have died as a result of bullying. You light up the sky x
Trevor Project: 866-488-7386.
BETWEEN CELEBRITY AND HYPOCRISY (LA-LA GONE GAGA)
For some time now I have become increasingly incensed by the hypocrisy of celebrity. It seems that some members of the glitterati feel they can and indeed say and do as they please and then do the opposite at the drop of a hat without loss of privilege, status, or position in the celebriverse. I am so sick of the talk of forgiveness because whilst I am not perfect I am however sure that before forgiveness occurs, repentance really does have to take place. That is unless you are a celebrity and baby if you are there is no need to even acknowledge the occurrence.
Young people follow celebrities, buy their snake oil and take their every word as gospel. Their influences on the youth of today can be frighteningly gripping and is a scary testament to the powers they yield. With this power however comes a level of responsibility which is clearly forgotten by some and also exploited by others. It is within every individuals remit to ensure that they stand by what they say and ensure that they are true to the philosophies they put out there. To my own detriment sometimes I am vehemently true to what I feel and I believe sharing that is part of my remit in life. I am more concerned with honesty than popularity and I am here to make a difference.
Hypocrisy is not only a failure of Celebs it is a failure of all who do not stand by the principles they profess to live by. Because society and the media follow every breath of those in the public eye, we witness these failures of conscience in glorious Technicolor while the pundits roll out excuses for bad behavior. If I hear one more person say you can’t be principled in business I am gonna vomit, literally. You cannot excuse ditching your values in order to make a quick buck. This doesn’t make me want to respect you, but standing by your principles will.
As my regular readers will know from my columns I was more than pissed to say the least at the decision of Elton John to play at the wedding of Rush Limbaugh (Conservative talk show host and General Repuglican fat ass) for a cool million dollars. Limbaugh is anti-gay and anti gay marriage, and generally anti anything non Republican. I am sure I am not the only Mo who felt let down by this betrayal and it’s not as if he even needed the money. Some even dubbed Elton as a whore! Arise Whore Elton!
There really is no end to Elton’s lack of support for the gay community and his duet with Eminem and his comments on gay marriage in the US have not made us view him in any better light. Some feel he redeemed himself somewhat by helping to raise $3M back in January for the fight against Prop8 but not me. Where is the consistency with Elton? It is sad that someone with his standing cannot be constant in his support for the gay community. Off and on never did it for me and although I love his music I find it hard to support him any longer.
Last year we saw the full impact of the hypocrisy of the McCain’s or the McHypocrites as they have been dubbed (mostly by me). Senator McCain explains away his hypocrisy with republican rhetoric which is becoming like religion for those who are crazy enough to take it on board. Meghan McCain and her Mother posed for pictures for the NOH8 Campaign as a pre cursor to selling Meghan book.
Even after the furor of Target openly and unapologetically donating to Tom (The Hater) Emmer’s campaign Meghan openly boasted in her Twitter feed about shopping at Target and letting them sell her book even though they had dumped on the gay community from a great height on more than one occasion. Several reputable artists including myself withdrew their products by way of protest.
Clearly the NOH8 support was a hypocritical act as last year Cyndi McCain said although she fully supported gay rights she also agreed fully with her husband Senator McCain’s views on DADT & gay marriage rights in the US. As the two views are totally opposed there does come a point where you have to either pick a side or shut the fuck up Cyndi or you end up looking like the hypocrite that you are. The saddest thing about the whole debacle is that we fell for it hook line and sinker and believed the hype they used to sell us to sell Meghan’s crappy book. Even though NOH8 are aware of these facts their pictures still adorn the site. Go figure.
It was revealed last week that Lady GAGA was thinking of getting into bed with Target for an exclusive deal that would make her a considerable amount of money, which clearly means the deal, is signed, sealed and delivered. Of all of the people to work with Target after their failures to support the gay community I thought GAGA would be the last. Clearly I was wrong. So what happened to that total commitment to the gays? Did it go out of the window when the chance to make a squillion bucks knocked on the door? Well clearly so.
GAGA said "Part of my deal with Target is that they have to start affiliating themselves with LGBT charity groups and begin to reform and make amends for the mistakes they've made in the past...our relationship is hinged upon their reform in the company to support the gay community and to redeem the mistakes they've made supporting those groups." But promises Target have made in the past to make amends where just words and no action was ever seen.
All the talk in meetings with Target of being “Thoughtful” is clearly the way GAGA’s management cover themselves for the next time Target messes up but GAGA is still laughing all the way to the bank. Although she is an amazing and innovative artist does she think we are so stupid to believe this bullshit? She has no control over Target and although I am myself a big fan of the mother monster my enamor has now slipped somewhat. Once again I feel I have been corporately fucked in the ass with a rubber duck only this time it has GAGA stamped on it.
All of this leaves me questioning who is to blame for the hypocrisy that celebrities show and the answer to that is very simple. We are! The consumer/fan/user etc allows themselves to be drawn in until the celebrity can do no wrong. Their fallibility goes out of the window and they become godlike. We put celebrities onto pedestals as if they are superhuman and untouchable and the media endorses this rite of passage and when we see their true colors and how we have been deceived we wonder what happened. I include myself in all of this but see myself but as a lone voice in the community whilst the celebs say hypocrisy? What hypocrisy? I can do no wrong! I ask you, where do you stand?
Peace and Luv, Xan x
I AM EXSTATIC TO REPORT THAT INDEED LADY GAGA IS TRUE TO HER WORD AND DIDN'T GO THROUGH WITH THE TARGET DEAL PROVING THERE ARE STILL SOME STARS WITH INTEGRITY!
TABATHA COFFEY IS MY CUPPA
TEA COZ I'M A TABAHOLIC! Feb
Those of you who know me will attest that nothing grabs me more than a tough, talented, beautiful woman. Judy, Liza, Barbara, Bette, Fran, Mariska and not forgetting Tab! Tab? You mean the soft drink? No silly I mean Tabatha Coffey the Australian presenter of Tabatha’s Salon Takeover on Bravo TV and author of the new book It’s Not Really About the Hair. I have a personalized signed copy. Got yours yet? Get yours soon while stocks last.
Tabatha shot to fame on Bravo’s Sheer Genius and the producers offered her opportunity to host her own show and the rest is history, or is it? Now in its 3rd series (Yes I am an avid viewer) Take Over really does go from strength to strength. For those of you who haven’t seen it shame on you lol, the show in essence is reality TV at its very best. Every week Tabatha visits salons all over the Union and identifies those elements preventing it from achieving its potential success.
She pulls no punches and is brutally honest about the failures of the establishments she visits. With exquisite phraseology like “Halfway house for shit” she shares her own particular brand of critique and let’s face it, if you know your stuff you have the right to point out what’s not quite right. Some people branded Tabatha a bitch for being honest to God up front and she even turned that into an empowering acronym Brave Intelligent Tenacious Creative & Honest. Wow you go girl I am clearly a B.I.T.C.H and maybe you where thinking of me also when you created this?
As well as all of the TV stuff Tabatha runs her own successful hair salon in Ridgewood New Jersey called Industrie Hair Guru’s. Her own philosophy seems to be that she is just a very talented hairdresser who got some very lucky breaks Her personality really shines through and I can see what the producers saw in her in order to offer her a show of her very own. She really is talented and her common sense approach makes for interesting viewing. Please Tab cut my hair F.F.S LOL!
As I read her book, I realize apart from being stunningly beautiful just how many things Tabatha Coffey and I have in common. We both lived in London at the same time, we both have Drag queens in our past, (ok I was one, and now the secret is out) we are both amazingly talented albeit at different things, we are both gay, and we both enjoy the musical styling’s of Xander Gibb lol Screw it I’m gonna dye my hair blonde and purchase some hot leather pants ASAP! Although I am sure I won’t be able to do them the same justice as Tabatha does I will give anything a go!
Openly gay Tabatha says her sexuality is no different to her having blue eyes and in no way pertains to her career and you know what I really concur with that sentiment. Gay people don’t go to work to be gay, they go to work to earn money and pay their bills like everyone else. Coming out to her Mom was not the experience she expected from such a pro gay Mother but the book shares how they grew from this. She has been in a relationship for over ten years which in gay years equates to about 70 years in reality.
I guess growing up around drag queens and gay folks leaves you very aware of those around you from an early age. In the book Tabatha details openly her life to date including her failed boob job. Very few Celebrity books, although she insist she is not a Celebrity are so frank and honest to a point of making you feel like she is a friend. We also see a pictorial epilogue of the life and times of Tabatha Coffey and although the looks may vary, she remains the same down to earth person we have got to know.
The TV show goes from strength to strength and I watch each week with trepidation at the audacious attitudes of the people she encounters. The odd thing about this show is that although I know nothing about Hairdressing (apart from of course petrissage, effleurage & tapotement lol) the common sense approach wins all the way and the recommendations made are based on fact and procedure and not personal likes and dislikes.
I often find myself wanting to slap several of the participants for their sheer bloody mindedness and unwillingness to accept change or different ideologies whether out of sheer laziness or just because they know best. My feelings and responses always echoe those of Tabatha and I guess the rest of the populous. I go from shock to sheer shock, to amazement and always end up glad that she manages to pull it off and get the Salon back on track. I am yet to see an organization she cannot turn around. Maybe the GOP needs to give her a job!
So what is next for the amazingly talented Tabatha Coffey? A chain of salons? Head of Bravo TV? Releasing a single with Xander Gibb? Opening The Coffey Institute of Hair & Beauty? Well A little bird called Tab told me recently it was gonna be the latter and I look forward to be invited to the opening. So Tabatha Coffey I’m your biggest fan I’ll follow you till you call the cops and get me arrested lol ! Buy the book guys it’s a great read!
Peace and Luv, Xan x
THE A-LIST NEW YORK- OR
SHOULD THAT BE NAY LIST! Jan
For those of you who haven’t seen The A-List New York gurl are you in for a surprise and not necessarily a pleasant one. After watching like 2 episodes I could watch no more. As a screaming queen it had me running out of the house looking for ver- jay-jay in disgust. Alright maybe not that level of disgust but you get the picture. This group of spoiled camp brats really have no idea about anything outside of the gay bubble and really don’t represent my people or how most of us wanna be or be viewed.
Some of them are even so camp they need subtitles I mean come on girlfriend get it together. If this is all LOGO can come as far as a gay reality show goes they really need to fire the A&R people. This is the first all gay reality show I have ever heard of and to be honest if this is the standard I hope it is the last as every single member of the cast is cut from the same pink fabric. There is no difference between any of them and it’s as though they advertised for the campest, most stereotypical queens in the state.
The concerning thing is the program makers must be aware of how these mo’s come across and that they add credence to the ideology that all gay men are stupid, fickle, bitchy, limp wristed pansies who will cry at the drop of a hat. I honestly believe programming like this sets back gay people several decades as it’s like San Francisco circa 1972. Before you say "Oh Xander you need to watch more episodes to get to know the characters" believe me, all I want from these characters is for them to admit they are heterosexual and just bad actors.
The singer (for want of a better word) Reichen (born Richard) is clearly delusional and doesn’t need singing lessons he needs a different hobby. Clearly this guy is surrounded by gofers and yes men who are either too scared or too stupid to tell him he can’t sing. He was the winner of The Amazing Race and really should have used his time with Lance Bass better to at least learn how to hold a tune. Apparently he is about to make his Broadway debut but I doubt Perez Hilton will be there for the opening night given their history of a love hate relationship. His single “I love you up to the sky” which is apparently about #DADT is sure to wow the deaf community. TJ apparently has pre ordered 1000000 copies out of sheer adoration.
Fights are a common place in this show and its pocket books at dawn as a regular feature. Austin (Marc Jacob’s ex) and his boyfriend fight more than me and my Jewish mother but the violence is kinda disturbing to say the least. Having said that I really am left wanting to beat them all up and I don’t have a violent bone in my body. The physical fights are very girly and not to make light of domestic violence, they are very comedic to say the least. Lots of slapping and scratching and a little punching thrown in just to add that butch edge NOT!
Mike Ruiz who is a celeb photog has appeared several times on Ru-Paul’s Drag Race (AKA Ru-Paul’s Black Race) seemed to be the Daddy of the group and for me was like the saving grace of the whole operation. Although camp as tits the guy is very likeable and the kinda guy you could have a beer with. The bio says that he is part of the A-List that captures the A-List on film and I can live with that after all he is good friends with Kathy Griffin and that’s practically Hollywood royalty. Less queeny than all of the others I kinda felt he was totally out of place and often has a “help get me the fuck out of here” look on his face. Go Mike Ruiz!
I have to wonder how much of the show is scripted because in reality can anyone really be that camp all day, all night, 24/7? I know personally I am openly a little queeny but these guys make me look straight which is no mean feat. Add to this equation Wendy Williams to break down the first season and more new words than a night with Sarah Palin which I can refudiate, the shit really does hit the fan.
Austin who was clothed for a change and didn’t strip was now besties with Derek and Ryan who was stinking of peroxide and I could smell it from my sofa with his hooker red lipstick to boot. Wendy struggled to keep a straight face throughout and clearly saw through the stereotyped act and misguided B.S while Brazilian born Rodney and Reichen split and got back together then split again several times during the show.
Wendy who said she was a fan of the show struggled to keep order amongst this meeting of the mo’s and really seemed like she wanted to laugh throughout. She brought the show to its basest point when she asked Austin which of the other 5 guys he wanted to sleep with. I am sure looks wise he wanted them all but on a personality level I’d rather be single. I know everyone has issues but these guys are fricking problem magnets and everything is a drama for them on an ongoing basis, but for me you can keep them.
This group of homosexuals really don’t add to my pride and clearly do not highlight a lifestyle that either myself or anyone I know, want or aspire too and frankly it’s insulting. It makes all gay men seem like retards with a pen chance for promiscuity and clearly this is not representive of all gay people. It is scary how we will watch any old crapola if it has a gay person in it, let alone a group of gay people. I am saddened that this is what LOGO managed to come up given the excellent standard of programming to date. I am sure they won’t be making my sitcom now I’ve slated their show so thank heavens NBC are interested lol. I’m off now to watch some straight porn NOT!
Peace and Luv, Xan x
ARE YOU IN THE CLOSET? DON'T
LET THE HATERS KEEP YOU THERE! Oct
It was National Coming out Day this week and as an out and proud homosexual I have very mixed feelings about people who are in the closet. The first thing that springs to my mind is that closets are for clothes not people, however Society has made it difficult for some people to be open about their sexuality. I cannot fathom why famous people or people with money would ever not be open about who they are because why would you care and there is the school of thought that these folks should be front runners in the race for openness and equality.
I read that comedian Guy Branum was suggesting that if Anderson Cooper wants to show kids that life gets better regarding being gay that he should come out of the closet and stop hiding from it. This is where my conflict begins. On the one hand I agree with Guy that we really have to back up what we say in life because otherwise it can seem like hypocrisy and you know how much of a bugbear that is for me. On the other hand we have to acknowledge the right for privacy if people do not want to be open about their sexuality should they have to come out for the cause?
In certain situations where coming out would cost you your job, your freedom or you life, I would say that hands down you should say nothing. In some places it is illegal to be gay and in certain very religious countries where people are put to death for being gay it’s surely the best policy to remain closeted. In America we have freedom and it is only the haters that try to rob us of that. Not every state protects you in your employment as a gay person. EDNA is making its way through but only 13 states currently protect against discrimination due to sexual orientation and gender identity.
Some people feel that the more we fight for our rights and highlight the inequality we face daily the more we deserve the response homophobes and haters give to us. Surely that’s like saying know your place which is kinda funny when you think that our country is based upon the constitutional values of democracy, liberty, freedom and justice for all. We cannot have equality without being totally equal, not partially equal or equal in some things, but in everything. This is not an allowance after all it is a right.
Assaults in the Bronx and in The Stonewall Inn have once again brought fear to the gay community and I am convinced that we need look no further than the top to identify where the rot and the dross comes from. While Senators and Leader are still promoting inequality and homophobia from their platforms it will continue to lead people to believe this is acceptable. In my last column I touched upon the trickle effect of how these things trickle down and unfortunately we are seeing the results of this. Why do we still support those who hide their hatred behind political policies because this is what keeps people in the closet?
Carl Paladeno said that Andrew Cuomo marching with the gays in the gay pride parade was not the example we should be showing our children (even though one of his staff marched) and that we should not be brainwashed into thinking that a homosexual lifestyle is an equally valid or a successful option. I think this is the perfect example to be showing to our children. Andrew Cuomo is heterosexual and believes in equality and marched in the parade to highlight this fact. As for homosexuality not being valid or successful option it is only devalued by the minority of haters who have a problem with it and our success should not hampered or determined by those who choose discriminate against us.
I am disappointed that the Jewish community leaders Paladeno was talking too subscribed to his idiocy. The best thing to come out of the hate speech is that even the GOP is embarrassed by this Tea Party Tosspot. Surely this has hampered his already flagging campaign. Hot on the heels of his prior faux pas of forwarding inappropriate racist e-mails including ones commenting on the President he said “I just forwarded them”. Apologies do not erase or change bad decisions Clearly Paladeno and Palin are of the same charm offensive and an America with either in leadership roles is a scary one! Send them both along with O’Donnell (Christine not Rosie) & O’Reilly to a Chilean mine!
As someone came running out of the closet when I was 18 and by the time I was comfortable with who I was I didn’t care what people thought. The freedom that this gives to an individual is indescribable but still some work to prevent that freedom or to take it away. I thank God that I live in a country that allows me to be who I am but the reason I write my columns and stand up to hypocrisy and injustice is that I want my America to be the best it possibly can be and that will be ongoing process. The people who have objections to gay people being equal in society are clearly the ones with the problem. Let’s face it John McCain cannot even begin to articulate why he stands by #DADT and just resorts to rhetoric and robotic policy quotations.
What I find alarming is the complete 360 some Repuglicans have done recently regarding gay rights issues. Clearly there are seats to be gained and elections afoot. Some would say any change is good change but I vehemently disagree. If change is verbalized by way of lip service in order to gain votes and clearly no change is ever going to occur then it is pointless. Yes I know before I get a gazillion e-mails Obama has done little to date to effect change in the Gay community but he has done nothing to deliberately block it. Some would say these are one and the same and I echo the sentiments of the woman who recently said she was tired of defending the President. To quote myself “You cannot change 8 yrs of mismanagement in 2”
It is another extreme to be publicly anti-gay and then be sleeping with same sex partners because that is hypocrisy in its highest form. When people engage in this kind of behavior they leave themselves wide open to being outed and clearly deservedly so. For me this is the only excusable reason for anyone ever being outed as they hold themselves up to a different standard and risk their own right to privacy by saying one thing but doing another. Having said that I would never personally want to out an individual. When I was a child outing was an activity we did as a family and usually involved a trip or excursion to the beach or an amusement park, not to destroy someone’s life.
Even if we lived in a utopian society I am sure some people would still wish to remain in the closet in the name of privacy and a big part of me says all power to them. Just as I reserve the right to be an all singing all dancing ’mo, surely that means that my closeted brothers and sisters deserve that same right and choice too?
I have to conclude that this is really down to individual choice and circumstance but the circumstance part should always be your choice too, but sadly for some in reality it isn’t. When you are openly anti-gay and are engaging in homosexuality the sword of Damocles is forever swinging above your head. This must be the very essence fear and I for one am grateful that there is no closet big enough to contain me or my outrageous life! Are you coming out? I’m here for you sister.
Peace and Luv, Xan x
BACK OFF YOU
As a child growing up I knew I was different not just because I was a chubby, funny, flamboyant or sang a lot. When I went to school the other children used to call me gay, homo, faggot, shit stabber, bender, queer, sissy. Even some of the teachers would make comments about my lack of masculinity all be it in a more subtle way. Who told them I was gay? Not me! Certainly not me but it nevertheless made me a target for abuse both verbal and physical.
The level of abuse I received was intolerable and I did tell my Mother who went to the school and stood up to the teachers who she felt quite rightly should be protecting me. To an extent they did but teachers cannot be present every moment you are in school. In the showers I was terrorized and accused of all measure of things from looking at my peers to other levels of ridiculousness. I had more excuses than I don’t know what for not wanting to take gym class. My Mothers appearances at school only fueled the bully’s fire to call me a Mommy’s boy.
These things clearly added to my behavioral & emotional issues and the experience of being bullied really changed me. It was a difficult enough challenge of growing and changing without the added pressure of being a gay teen and having to hide that fact from my peers and my family. When anyone remotely effeminate came on the TV all of the gay jokes would begin and I could say nothing. I would scream inside and wonder why there was such an attitude towards being gay. It wasn’t something I could challenge, change, discuss or even admit to. Thankfully I survived and it did get better and believe me it will for you too!
Hearing about the teenagers who have recently committed suicide I really do weep with despair. Over 20 yrs have passed and have we not moved forward and grown as a society to the point where we can live and let live? For anyone to endure homophobic bullying & violence is unconscionable let alone a child. I honestly do believe children learn what they live because hate is not a behavior that just appears it is something is learned. We are never gonna accept and love everybody but surely we need to learn respect and tolerance. The place this begins is at home and children need to be nurtured and taught from a perspective of respect. Homophobic parents breed homophobic children.
Some children have an uncanny knack for weeding out vulnerabilities in their peers and I am convinced that if your parents try to teach you a different route this really is a good foundation for not needing to seek validation by treating other people badly. I think bullying is a clear sign that something is not right at home as violence breeds violence.
Surely we have duty to our children and young people to offer them guidance and advice on how to deal with the things they may encounter in life that they maybe don’t understand or have no experience of. Inclusion of homosexuality in sex education would be a start. Homophobia is no more acceptable than any form of discrimination and is a social disease that we cannot allow to continue. Society has to take a lot of the blame for this indifference. With all of the current issues pertaining to gay rights being unsettled I am sure this adds validation to the ideology that gay people are of secondary importance and promotes homophobia?
My heart breaks to think that certain politicians can block the way to equality with no solid reasoning without realizing that a by product of their homophobia is trickling down and now school children are paying the price for this. Yes we do need to legislate against this kind of discrimination but the buck needs to start and stop with the legislature. Whilst our country allows us to be discriminated against the message sent is that it is acceptable to treat gay people badly.
Whilst I am usually a harsh critic of Perez Hilton I have salute him for his response to this tragic spate of senseless suicides. He has used his platform to highlight the fact that it does get better. Encouraging people to make videos and upload them to Youtube to talk about the fact that suicide is not the answer. Perez has had an overwhelming response.
Celebrities, individuals, gay and straight alike have responded positively and it is amazing to see the community come together like this. You can see the videos here:http://www.youtube.com/user/itgetsbetterproject Perez reported that over 200,000 people have stopped following him on Twitter since he started covering this issue. I say that they where no great loss of this is there response.
It isn’t just children who are feeling the surge of this tidal way of hate as recently a young man at Rutgers, Tyler Clementi (18) killed himself as a result of his roommates using a webcam to transmit live scenes of him having sex with another man. They even tried to do the same thing unsuccessfully the day before he jumped to his death from The George Washington Bridge in New York. His body was identified on Thursday after being found in the river the day before.
This was a senseless tragic loss of a young man with his whole life ahead of him. As for possible federal charges, a Justice Department official says that's not likely at this point. The federal hate crime law would not apply, the official says, because it requires proof of intent to cause violence to the victim. Whichever way you look at it his roommates have blood on their hands but I pray that this spate of deaths will serve as a deterrent to this kind of mindless abuse in the future.
The U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan commented on the Recent Deaths he said "This week, we sadly lost two young men who took their own lives for one unacceptable reason: they were being bullied and harassed because they were openly gay or believed to be gay. These unnecessary tragedies come on the heels of at least three other young people taking their own lives because the trauma of being bullied and harassed for their actual or perceived sexual orientation was too much to bear.
"This is a moment where every one of us - parents, teachers, students, elected officials, and all people of conscience - needs to stand up and speak out against intolerance in all its forms. Whether it's students harassing other students because of ethnicity, disability or religion; or an adult, public official harassing the President of the University of Michigan student body because he is gay, it is time we as a country said enough. No more. This must stop."
His statement fully reflects the way I feel and we need to effect change as a matter of urgency. These deaths must really make everyone stop and think about their actions and the things they say and do to one other. It is imperative that as a nation we step up to the plate and respond to this wake up call to stamp out bullying, harassment and discrimination on a national level. Our leaders need to lead by example and put aside these petty ridiculous objections to equality or we will have a bigger epidemic on our hands.
is a right and discriminatory practices only change by educating
those who allow their bigotry to overtake their common sense. To
harass or bully someone for any reason is not acceptable whether
that is in the schoolyard, on the internet, in the senate or on the
sidewalk. If you are being bullied or harassed tell someone about
the things you are experiencing. Chances are the person treating you
this way is also doing the same thing to others. It does get easier
and bullies are damaged people who need to back off and deal with
their own issues. Please don’t despair here are some sources
Peace and Luv, Xan x
IS THE PHRASE GAY REPUBLICAN
A CONTRADICTION IN TERMS??? Aug
Recently I have been thinking about how conflicting being a Republican and being openly gay must be in America in 2010. Let’s face it The GOP have done nothing for gay rights and have set the movement back considerably. I would be the first to say that you cannot agree with every single fundament of your parties agenda but surely it must conflict you to your very core to follow a party that doesn’t support your basic right to love and to be who you are.
Gay friends of mine who are vehemently Republican would have supported Bush to the hilt even with his administrations position on gay marriage and gay rights. My challenges to these discriminatory policies where tagged as being unpatriotic. Surely we cannot be expected to blindly agree with every decision and policy for fear of being deemed unpatriotic? The line has to be drawn somewhere or surely we will forever be waiting for the right time for change.
Reasoning is always lacking for policies that discriminate against homosexuals and if I hear one more person say “it tears at the fabric of society” I will literally scream. What is this societal fabric they talk of anyway and how come the things that tear at it are part of the selective ideology of haters? Surely America is big enough to encompass everybody so why can’t we all have the same level of equality that is our right?
Log cabin Republicans stand up for the idea that all Americans deserve to be treated equally regardless of their sexual orientation and say that they are sympathetic to gay rights issues. This is probably due to a large proportion of its membership being gay and seeking to effect change from within although they do not seem to be that effective judging by current GOP policies. Whilst I applaud their efforts the phrase “banging ones head against a brick wall” springs to mind.
The log cabin Republicans endorsement of Senator John McCain was clearly an unwise choice given his standing on #DADT. McCain said he thought the military leaders had the answers to this until they told him it was time to change the policy. Apparently he didn’t mean THOSE Military leaders with current expertise an experience he meant the retirees and general flag officers from the old school. Respectfully how will we ever effect change if we insist on living in the past? If we stand still we surely move backwards!
McCain say’s he is pro gay marriage as it should be ALLOWED but not legal! This to date has to be the most elitist statement I have ever heard. His wife Cindy and daughter Meghan however came out in support of gay marriage this year posing for pictures with the NOH8 campaign. Meghan said in her Twitter stream that she thought “more Republicans need to start taking a stand for equality." Go Meghan McCain except she still shops at Target even thought they donated to Tom Emmer’s campaign and she will be allowing them to sell her book. This all seems very contradictory to me as an artist who will not allow them to sell my music as a protest. Was the NOH8 pic just to get the gays on side Meghan?
Some Republican ideology on gay rights issues has to be left firmly on the doorstep of the church. Even if you are a Christian it is important to remember that the greatest commandment of Jesus was to love one another and hatred just does not fit into that spectrum. The Christian right has a lot to answer for and the separation of church and state is essential as otherwise we would end up with a system that is guided more by religiosity rather than democracy. Our forefathers came here to escape religious oppression and if religious organizations out there whilst entitled to there opinions want to have a role in running our country then they should pay taxes.
Certain gay republican websites out there have taken to bashing Obama once again. I know everyone has their own agenda for change and although I am still Pro-Obama I also wish he would pull his finger out and do the things he promised the gays when he was campaigning for the presidential seat. Having said that I am sure dismantling eight years of ignorance and inequality is no mean fete and certain issues on equality need to be federal decisions and not left to state legislature.
I know there are some very gay friendly Republican Senators out there and I am sure some of those who are pro gay equality will not admit to it for fear of being unpopular with the party, the leaders or the voters. Policy and opinion trickles down from the top and if the leaders of a party don’t promote equal opportunities for all then how can we expect change to be effected. To date I have heard no tangible reasoning for not changing discriminatory policies only rhetoric.
With Ken Mehlman’s recent disclosure that he is gay I wonder where was his voice of reason throughout the Bush years? This man could have been an amazing tool for change when Karl Rove was pushing for same sex marriage bans all over the union. Some are saying his coming out was helpful for the ending of prop8 but I am sure it was just coincidental and for Ken it was clearly too little to late. As a staunchly anti gay rights legislator this man goes to the top of my republican Hypocrisy list with Meghan McCain coming in as a close second.
Sadly I am convinced that the phrase Gay Republican is an oxymoron and that clearly the best thing Gay Republicans can do if they want their rights and opinions to be represented adequately is not to vote Republican. As I previously stated you cannot agree with everything your party says or believes but when they cannot support your basic rights as a human being how can you continue to support them?
Change is not something we should just hope and pray for we have to exercise constitutional rights and use the systems at hand to affect it. I know some people will say they are fundamentally Republican but that doesn’t change your sexuality or your right to equality. When older Republicans stop hanging on to the past and excusing discrimination with exquisite phraseology America will be a better place.
Peace and Luv, Xan x
DON'T ASK DON'T TELL Aug 10th
"Jarod McIntosh’s experience of discrimination"
Although I am probably one of the most patriotic people you could ever meet there are actually things that upset me immensely about these United States. Part of the reason I write about things it to prompt thought and effect change on whatever level I can. Don’t ask don’t tell (#DADT) is a policy which prevents members of the gay community from revealing their sexuality in the armed forces. To do this leaves these individuals open to being discriminated against and dishonorably discharged.
Apparently the reason for this is that it would put at risk the high standards of morale, good order and discipline for those who are homosexual who are willing to fight and die for our country to disclose their orientation. It should be called Clintons compromise. Whilst I am sure this was an attempt at equality it fell far short. The only thing that should ever be subject to don’t ask don’t tell is my ever decreasing weight. Don’t ask ‘cause I sure aint gonna tell.
Thugs and convicted felons can serve in the military but your common or garden homosexual cannot. Well technically they can but they are forbidden to be “openly” homosexual. Those who have stood up to this archaic response to an inability to respect human rights and to ensure equality have been treated badly. This actually makes me literally weep to think that people are not afforded the respect they deserve in this day and age.
Lt. Dan Choi came out publicly and was discharge for doing so. He attended a rally in the Capital with comedian Kathy Griffin. He chained himself to the gates of The White House and was arrested for it. Clearly serving in silence was not an option for him and I feel he has paved the way for others to challenge this inequality. I don’t think serving in silence should be an option for anyone. Heterosexuals don’t go to work to be heterosexual they go to work. Do they think gay people are incapable of maintaining professionalism?
On May 27th the house voted to repeal #DADT and it passed by a margin of 229-186. The senate is expected to vote in the fall. I am always astonished that the rights individuals will receive are put to a vote. Yes I know we live in a democracy before I get a million e-mails but surely all rights should be equal? This leaves me scratching my head. Why should you be treated differently under the law because you are gay?
Today I heard about Jarod McIntosh who is being generally discharged from the Navy because they found pictures of him and his boyfriend on his cell phone which they confiscated because he took it on board the USS Wyoming submarine, whilst Jarod admits he made a mistake taking it on board as it was a camera phone. It was passed to base security for scrutiny for classified material of which none was found. They did however find pictures of Jarod and his boyfriend which he wouldn’t have wanted anyone else to see.
The next day Jarod was summoned to see the chief of the boat who told him he would be written up under article 92 for failing to obey an order or regulation and was sent home after being advised he would be able to return to work in a couple of days. Two weeks later after hearing nothing he was informed he was getting an “other than honorable discharge” for being gay. He wasn’t asked and he didn’t tell!
Jared’s Captain was clear about the fact he had no issue with his orientation and was pleased with his service to date but he was following orders from above. He was then removed from the boat and taken to a holding unit to await an administrative separation board in order to get retention or an honorable discharge. Lets face it in most places if you where fired for being gay your employer would be prosecuted.
Both Jarod’s Captain and his chief where present at his hearing and requested he be retained and placed back onto the boat as soon as possible. It was deemed that although bringing the cell phone aboard was not grounds for separation, but being gay was. Lets be clear about this Jarod didn’t out himself evidence from his phone was used in order to obtain the discharge.
A challenge request has been set up and Jarod is waiting to hear from the board responsible. He told me he is continuing to fight for an honorable discharge and if that fails he will be seeking congressional representation to seek redress for this discriminatory action. Lets face it folks if this had been a heterosexual he would have received a slap on the wrist and been told that he should be more careful in future.
I still cannot find out what the unacceptable risk to the military is in repealing don’t ask don’t tell? Heterosexual friends of mine who are gay friendly (whatever that means) and in the services tell me there would be violence against openly gay people in the military and changing things in a time of war is not the right time. When then I ask is the right time for equality? I think it is NOW!
Please do not lets this young mans plight go un-noticed. Please call your Senator and make your views known. Let’s not have the men and women of this country who choose to serve and protect us be discriminated against because they happen to be homosexual. Repeal DON’T ASK DON’T TELL COZ IT DON’T WORK.
Love & Peace Xan
THE PINK DOLLAR Aug 4th
"A SIDEWAYS GLANCE AT THE EFFECTS GAY PEOPLE HAVE ON CURRENT MARKETING TRENDS"
With the recognition of gay people having a higher disposable income to some business people the pink Dollar has become one of the most increasingly sought after markets. From bars, to restaurants, to shops and now even multinational companies are getting in on the act. In recognition of our spending power, it seems that IKEA have often used overtly gay advertising in order to sell its products. So take heed TARGET!
In America over the years there has been lots of overtly gay advertising for products ranging from furniture to whisky. One ad agency chief said of the gay market: "With spending power of this caliber it would be mad not to cater for them." IKEA have already got our attention with prime time ads and there is hope that there will be more.
Other companies who have used gay advertising include banana republic, with kissing lesbians, K-Mart, using two older queens plus Johnny Walker whisky and Paco Rabanne being more ambiguous. Guinness was rumored to have made a gay advert some years ago - though the media debate at the time guaranteed it was quickly shelved, never to have been aired.
Is it that “Us Gays” are coming back into fashion again? I wonder? A certain beer company where boycotted by gays because the company was believed to be antigay. It seems that some companies try to dominate the market by enabling the product to appeal to us although I wonder how easy this actually is. Are we that gullible that a hot guy can sell us anything? Wrap him up I’ll take him away.
I feel that advertising could possibly be on a sticky wicket, as it’s a real presumption that “Us Gays” will buy one product rather than another just because of its advertising. If the product is bad good advertising certainly won't make up for it in any way. IKEA apparently said their gay targeted adverts treated people 'as people, and that gay money is “every bit as good as straight money”. (Well thanks for that)
It seems that the hallmark of these ads is to recognize homosexuals as responsible members of the community. (I guess that’s when we are not tearing at the fabric of society) I've haven’t met many responsible gay people lately. (Just kidding of course) Although in some ways it's good that gays have been shown in this light some may say that we're being exploited. No matter what you think, it seems odd that mainstream companies should take such an interest in the finances of our community. Clearly they see the potential of marketing to us.
I don't really think that it's been out of any equality school of thought but rather a profits point of view. It would be quite different if these companies said 10% off for the LGBT community but I don't think they would. When I buy a product or use a service I use it or buy it for how good it is first and very rarely does the gay-friendly factor come into it.
If a company has out and out slagged off the gay community or supported Anti-gay organizations or individuals then I would definitely boycott them although I think that most companies would be very careful as to their public image. Target has recently come under attack for donating monies to Minnesota GOP candidate Tom Emmer who openly opposes gay marriage. Target CEO Greg Steinhafel maintains that it still supports the LGBT community and has no agenda. This highlights the risks for companies that make corporate donations to political groups.
As you may have guessed this homosexual will not be shopping at Target in the near future or probably ever again. I am convinced that they will come up with a T.V ad to counterbalance the situation. Who knows maybe Elton John will be available to sell out again if the price is right. I am sure Target regrets its decision but I watch with interest at their actions to find face with the gay public again.
I do look forward to seeing more 'gay-friendly' ads though, as there maybe some hot guys in them and maybe this is the pulling power. I still I don't think it will sway me. Maybe if they where smeared with chocolate and…………. Ok enough of my drivvle. They could always offer me an advert though: 'Xander Gibb' advertising Martini or Champaign, or a men's cosmetic range. No not a diet product you bitches! I can dream, can't I?
Peace and Luv, Xan x
THE TWITTER SOCIAL NETWORK PHENOMENON July 29th
So for those of you on Twitter who may have come across me recently thank’s for embracing the true meaning of Social Networking and following me. Those of you who haven’t come on people get with it. Seriously though, Twitter has been a real education for a minor homo celeb like me. The level of elitism is simply astounding to say the least and clearly some of these guys don’t ever use a bathroom. If they did they would realize where there heads are well and truly stuck.....
Having been on things like Myspace and Facebook for some time I have really used the medium to keep in touch with my followers and those who enjoy my music, writing and comedy on a regular basis. I really noticed the level of elitism on a small scale on Facebook with those who thought that they where far too good to add you and celebs you had maybe met once or twice but they certainly wouldn’t consider you as a friend.
I have even been blocked by certain republicans who are none to fond of my openly homosexual rants against the establishment’s attempts to block my civil rights or even when I have called out certain porcine assholes in the media (Rush Limbaugh) but never anything like Twitter. Give it time I hear you say, you have only been on it for a month. I am not going anywhere as I believe you change things from within by whatever means are necessary. Watch out Perez I’m a coming to get you well me and Will-I-Am and several others.
You see the problem with Twitter is that it gives some already swell headed celebrities the Idea that we actually live our lives around what they think about other people and gay celebs are actually 10 times worse. They want you too follow them so they can brag about having 30000 followers but when it comes to responding to you that’s a different matter. You know who you are Claymate! I can see you all thinking now, “oh they must get hundreds of messages every day” and although I appreciate that I think when you put yourself out there you gotta be prepared to respond.
What I find amazingly funny is how most of the comedians can bitch but when you bitch them back its like you have committed a treasonous act. Surely the mark of a true comedian is to be able to out bitch a heckler or so you would think. It would be a great way to find new material from the comments people make to you and with a little tweaking you’d have a new routine. Joan Rivers really cannot take a joke. Of course I don’t think she is attacked by cadaver dogs every time she leaves the house but it's funny right? .
John C. Mayer or John Anniston
Mayer to you and I (don’t get me started on what the C stands
for) seems to be self appointed star guru to new celebs coming
to Twitter. Kanye West recently joined and John told him “welcome
to twitter. Try not to use it as a marketing device. Tweeps will
see through it. Give them YOU”. I mean please just pass me the
barf bag like Guru John Mayer has never peddled his wares on any
Social Networking Site or God forbid made a boo boo.
even tried to enlist Samantha Ronson who was to busy
pontificating about the personification of the internet. I mean
please do these people think that we buy all this bullshit? I
certainly don’t, do you? Celebrities want to sell you their
snake oil including me, buy my album @(http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/xandergibb)
however I wont be ignoring you on Twitter or any
other network. I can honestly say I was happy to pose for pics
at pride and shake hands and stuff. Just don’t ask for my phone
number unless you are 25 and hot! Seriously whatever your level
of celebrity should your accessibility totally disappear?
I know people like Fran Drescher and Kelsey Grammar are very friendly and although they have the level of distance you would expect, they reply and Kelsey has ongoing conversations with people. He even opened up about his divorce on Twitter. Sherrie Shepperd never replies even when I help her out with directions when she gets lost in ....New York.... but that’s cool. She’s on The View you know! Then there are the faux celebs that are not verified and are just hoi polloi pretending to be Tina Turner and such. Funny really I can’t imagine Tina on Twitter. ..Cher.. maybe but not Tina.....
Apparently Amanda Bynes has come out of retirement as she has found her love of acting again one week after she said she would never act again. I mean where the fuck was it hiding under her pile of laundry? This was clearly twitter speak for I haven’t been offered a good role in a while and need to gee up the acting establishment for a few days. Now don’t get me wrong I love my dear Amanda’s body of work but please she’s no Betty White is she? Love ya Chicky x .
Chelsea Handler Lately has a twitter account and so does her dog Chunk. She adds a picture everyday of some body part or other or of Guy Branum dressed in drag, or herself dressed as Dinah Lohan. She even enamors us with pics of her brother Chef Handler whose forehead is so big you could show the handler home movies on it. The one saving grace well two actually are Jiffy Wild and Ryan Basford who are hot, hot, hot. These guys can have my number whenever they want it. I know they want me!.
Some folks are on every five minutes linking to their wares. I’m thinking particularly of the Kardashian Klan who have no particular talent but have a famous name. Hey world my name is Gibb. Ever heard of the Bee Gee’s? My new fragrance is coming out next month it’s called Staying Alive. Be careful guys or John Mayer will be busting your Kardashes for using Twitter as a marketing device. Kathy Griffin is on every 5 minutes pushing both hers and her mother’s excellent books and setting gay men up for thrupples. Go figure.
I am sure that as I grow into Twitterville that the residents will eventually accept me as I continue to be heard and stand up to bigotry and idiocy I am sure my following will grow as it has on other networks. The celebrities will either grow to love me or they can live with it. The beauty of living in a democracy and being on a social network is that I am an entitled to my opinion whether A list celebs like it or not. I maybe on the E list but at least I am on a list. You can add me onhttp://twitter.com/XANDERGIBB or http://www.facebook.com/pages/Xander-Gibb/144088238951666?ref=ts or http://www.myspace.com/xandergibb May the networks be with you and remember celebs are only celebs because you follow them.....
Love & Peace Tweeps, Xan x
THE GAY MARRIAGE DEBATE? July
As the smoke clears and the gay marriage debate can no longer be used as a diversionary tactic in order to avoid talking about bigger issues, isn’t it time this matter was settled once and for all? One of the basic fundaments of The American Way is democracy freedom and liberty for ALL. So what about minorities in all of this surely they come under the “ALL” banner don’t they?
For me the gay marriage issue is just a band aid for a severed head. It’s just a drop in the ocean and one small step toward the equality that gay people should be enjoying as a right and not just some afterthought. It really does have to be all or nothing including, pension rights, immigrations rights, inheritance rights, the whole caboodle. Just allowing certain equal rights is not total equality it is just appeasement.
Civil partnerships are really just a cop out and clearly are just a way toward enabling society to make us feel included. I have to laugh when certain less informed individuals think gays wanna get married to mimic their heterosexual counterparts. It’s not about a piece of paper it’s about the right to choose how we live our lives and to be able to have the same rights and choices as everyone else.
It certainly doesn’t help that in the U.S each state has there own laws and by laws and some federal laws supersede others. Let’s face it some states you are still allowed you to marry your cousin, as long as he’s not gay of course. The change needs to come from the top and although it may take a while to trickle down, surely this has to better than allowing a state by state decision. It sounds so crazy that some overpaid politician can decide who I can marry.
I can fight and die for my country but I can’t marry someone of the same sex. Go figure. Don’t even get me started on don’t ask don’t tell. We live in the most amazing most advance country on the planet but on some fundamental level we can’t seem to grasp the basic concept of equality. I am heartened by the Obama administration and its commitment to change and although I am frustrated by its pace, I trust in his ideology and process, but will continue to monitor action.
Those opposing gay marriage have some weird and wonderful reasoning for doing so, including it attacks the fabric of American society, I mean W.T.F? Marriage is between a man and a woman, Marriage is a sacred institution (and of course heterosexuals never breach that sacred bond) and the list of craziness goes on. Kathryn Rogers can marry a bigot, but I can’t marry a man now where’s the justice in that? I can no more change my attraction to men than she can change her attraction to bigots.
All joking aside the bigot in question makes no bones about his feelings on gay marriage, hence my frank response to his opinions. Limbaugh seems to hate everything and everybody. He says marriage is not a right it’s a responsibility which may explain why he does it so often. His anti gay jibes are clearly designed to provoke controversy which is even more startling as he says he believes people are gay from birth and have no choice in the matter. He says gays shouldn’t be demonized in society by anyone, so why not shut your fat trap for a change then Limbaugh?
As an openly gay man I do not require anyone to legitimize my lifestyle or make me any more acceptable. However you dress up hatred it is still hatred and when your likes and dislikes affect my civil liberties then you risk my wrath. I do not hate you for disagreeing with me but I do feel I have a responsibility to educate you in the process. It is my right to live and to love whomever I please. Even religion shouldn’t be a bar to gay marriage and the control it tries to exercise in this matter is nothing to do with God.
Gay marriage can and does work and has clearly worked in Europe. Denmark has had gay marriage rights for nearly 20 years. None of the arguments against gay marriage hold up to scrutiny. Faulty reasoning leads to fear and misconception and I wonder who’s rights they will try to take away next. It seems that Andrew Cuomo has pledged to make gay marriage a priority in New York State. He believes the legislature could approve a bill as soon as 2011. Gov. Paterson ordered recognition of gay marriages performed elsewhere however it seems several obstacles still remain, like joint tax filing etc.
Five states and one district (Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire and District of Columbia) have legalized same sex marriage to date. California did and then it was repealed with prop. 8. Some states offer Civil Partnerships but they do not include the same rights as heterosexual marriage. It really does have to be all or nothing equal rights across the board.
You don’t pay fewer taxes as a gay person or pay less rent or even work less hard, and there is an urgent call for equality. Apparently the Coquille Indian Tribe in Oregon also grants same-sex marriage so maybe the answer is to avoid reservations by moving to one. The fight for equal marriage rights have been going on since the early 1970’s and even with the politically divisive sensitivities, I pray that common sense will eventually prevail.
Peace and Luv, Xan x
ARE YOU PROUD ENOUGH TO GO
TO PRIDE? Feb
The Gay Pride Festival or LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual & Transgender) Pride Festival as it has become latterly known is an international celebration of gay culture and all things queer. The message is clearly about being proud of who you are hence the name Pride which is used as an antonym for shame which has been used to control, oppress and generally fuck us over for long enough.
Pride was born out of the Stonewall riots in 69 when the cops in New York City performed raids on bars till the gays fought back Vive la revolution and quite right too. Pride has increased the presence and voice of gay people both locally and on the world’s stage giving us a bigger voice in life the universe and everything. The rainbow flag proudly flies outside of gay bars and organizations and is the symbol of Pride.
The very first Pride march was in 1970 and was proposed by Craig Rodwell. Along with his partner Fred Sargeant, Ellen Broidy & Linda Rhodes they championed the resolution for a march every year on the last Saturday in June to commemorate the Christopher street demonstrations. It was called The Christopher Street Liberation Day. This became the first Pride march which is now celebrated annually around the world.
I think it has to be said we owe a real debt of gratitude to these guys as it has been a fore runner to claiming many of the rights we have today. As a small town boy attending my first march it was a real proud moment for me. I walked down the street and blew my whistle for all of the world to see. Clichés aside I really felt proud to be gay as I’d had to hide it for so long. The beauty was we all came together for that one day, gay, lesbian, black, white, trans-gender, drag queens, bears, leather queens, and families.
I remember on the march seeing people I knew some of whom where shocked to see corporate Xander in make up and stillies camping it up as gay as gay could be. I really didn’t care I was on cloud ten and the march was just the beginning. Even the cops who lined the route where congenial and posed for pics with every mo in a 5 mile radius with a yen for men in uniform. The final venue was like a fairground with a pop concert and sea of people for miles and miles waiting patiently for their favorite gay icon to grace the stage.
As a performer I have shared the stage with many A’listers and pinched myself to ensure I wasn’t dreaming. Getting to perform for the gay community on mass was an amazing buzz. Some disinterested and eager to see the A’ listers, some with that come on impress me look, but most like me happy to be there and to share in a celebration of not only their God given sexuality, but their right to be exactly who they where and not to have to apologize to anyone for it.
Pride is an amazing and inspiring festival which has many different meanings, memories for those of us who are gay, bi, Trans, heterosexual or undecided. It is there to enjoy and embrace and is a reminder to actually be proud of who you are. No-one can give that pride to you, but many will try to take it away. As we march and dance and enjoy the festivities remember those who have been instrumental in enabling our right to celebrate. If you see me at the festivities blowing my whistle, be sure to say hey.
Peace and Luv, Xan x
SOLD OUT AGAIN! June
So here I am on my soap box again folks. Yet another situation has pissed me off to the point I am seeing red and snatching the laptop to scrawl another commentary on today’s hypocrisies and shockable occurrences. So who’s got Xander’s goat today I hear you say, surely not one of the “Twat Pack” (Sarah Palin, Glenn beck, Rush Limbaugh and Dick Cheney) again? Well yes and no.
As you may know Rush (Big Mouth) Limbaugh recently married the lovely Kathryn Rogers 33, an events co-coordinator 26 yrs younger than himself. Although I am left wondering what attracted Miss Rogers to multi millionaire Limbaugh, this is not my beef today. So my beef is very simple. Why oh why on Gods green earth would an openly gay singer and activist play the wedding of a openly homophobic hater.
Well my dear friends for the sum of $1000000.00 our dear Elton John who we have supported throughout the ups and downs of his career, performed at Limbaugh’s wedding. The phrase sellout springs to mind among other less polite exquisite phrases. I mean really it’s not like he needs the money. I have heard all of the excuses including you can’t afford for sentiment in business, and maybe he wanted to bridge the divide, and other such pukey ridiculous excuses.
Frankly as a singer no amount of money would have persuaded me to perform for Limbaugh and his child bride. For someone who has attack the gay community continually even suggesting gay fetus’s should be aborted, it’s a joke really for him to even request Elton’s presence least perform at his wedding. Let’s not forget that this isn’t the first time Elton sold out the gay community. He did a duet with Eminem who is known for his controversial gay bashing lyrics and apparently they are still friends.
And as the song says Sorry seems to be the hardest word as there is no sign of an apology or even an acknowledgement that any wrong doing occurred. Surely if nothing else this has to be a deal breaker as to how much support we give to those who say one thing but do another. Hypocrisy of any kind is bad but this to me is particularly abhorrent. I am not suggesting you burn his albums or protests at his concerts but I think for me my level of support has dropped.
Finally for me the other insipid thing about this whole debacle is that only some states in the US allow gay marriage, however Limbaugh could have married in any state as there is not a clause that prevents “fat mouthed nasty assed idiots from getting married” Elton you have lost my respect. I am disappointed that as someone who has enjoyed the love and respect of the gay community over the years, you just screwed us again. The candle in the wind just went out.
Peace and Luv, Xan x
RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE II? DID THE BEST WOMAN WIN??? April 28th
So as one of those homos who has been known to throw on a frock every now and then (for the entertainment purpose only you understand) I have been addicted for the past few weeks to RuPaul’s Drag Race season II. As usual the candidates displayed where of various standards. Some shone, some stank, but some really sparkled. I had my favorites pretty quickly as I am sure most did, Raven, JuJu B, and Tatiana. I even thought Pandora box was a quirky but entertaining queen.
My understanding of the aims of the show is to find America’s next drag superstar, like anyone could replace RuPaul Supermodel of the world. Let me say at this point I have ultimate respect for Ru and I feel this trend setting forward thinking momma has paved the way for equality and opened a brand new space for gay people in the field of entertainment and continues to do so. Having said all of that that certain elements of the finale did not sit right with me.
The three finalist where JuJu B, and Asian American queen who looked the part and in fact is beautiful, very talented and improved the most in my opinion. Then there was Tyra Sanchez referred to as the other Tyra but girl tacky is the word that springs to mind. Although she improved and gained experience she just didn’t cut it in my opinion, Good performer, pretty but bad demeanor.
Raven was the other finalist and boy is she good she looks amazing, lip synchs to perfection but is a little on the bitchy side. A bitchy drag queen I hear you say, doesn’t that go with the territory? Yes you would think so as it wasn’t a Sunday school picnic.
The confusion began when JuJu B was eliminated for reasons only known to Ru. None of the usual dissemination and dissection of what was wrong in the judge’s opinions. I have to say a word or two about the judges. I love Merle Ginsberg she is an author with a very classic style and I can just about forgive her for co writing Paris Hilton’s semi auto biography, but Santino is a different story. Santino Rice is a fashion designer from Missouri of Project runway fame, whose dress sense clearly makes no sense and often resembles a homeless guy, Go figure.
Then came time to “Lip Synch for your life” and although Tyras lip sync was slightly more energetic I am at a loss as to how she won. On the whole taking the series into consideration Raven and JuJu B where clearly the best and I would have had difficulty choosing between the two. Tyra wasn’t a patch on these two and although last seasons winner was a surprise to me as clearly Nina Flowers was front runner, at least Bebe Zahara Benet had star quality. Breathe Tyra breathe lol.
The difference between this show and say American Idol is that the public gets to decide who should win. In this instance the final say goes to RuPaul and I can maybe understand this on a week to week basis but for a finale to avoid accusations of bias maybe a broader deciding factor would be more helpful.
There have been many suggestions that the decision was made on race rather than talent and I have to admit that this was in my thoughts too. It is easy to look for other reasons as to why your favorite contestant did not win however Tyras lack of personality and talent when judged next to the other finalists called into to question the fairness of the decision.
I feel this comes back to the theme of the show and clearly the philosophy is RuPaul’s brain child and her decision is final. Did Tyra meet the criteria for winning the competition? Clearly not in my opinion if the criteria is Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve and Talent. Tyras M.O was all a about poor me and give me sympathy as I wine, when surely a drag queens M.O should be fuck it and actually have something tangible.
As Winston Churchill said you can please all of the people some of the time, and some of the people some of the time, but you cant please all of the people all of the time. Regardless of all I have said in my commentary I thoroughly enjoyed the show but felt the finale was an anti climax. Re watching the show I had to laugh when Ru said does She (meaning Tyra while hyper ventilating) need to breathe into a paper bag? No Ru she needs to put it over her head and shut the fuck up. (Joke)
We will see how good Tyra actually is when she as part of her prize hosts the Aboslut Pride tour up and down the country. Don’t fuck it up! Personality and the ability to speak to the crowd is not something you can pull out of your ass and I believe her shyness will unfortunately be her undoing. I do wish Tyra well and hope that she, Raven and JuJu excel in all they do and use the opportunity they have to build on their celebrity.
Finally RuPaul Supermodel of the WORLD, My dear RuRu. Although I did not agree with your final decision and wish a few things would change about the show, like telephone voting, (which would also increase revenue and reduce accusations of bias) and maybe replacing Santino Rice with either myself or Kathy Griffin, I bow to your expertise, as the show is called RuPaul’s Drag Race and NOT Xander Gibbs drag race! The final decision was RuPaul’s to make.
Thank you for an amazing feast of entertainment, I look forward to Season III and wish all of the contestants the very best in their careers and in all they do. Start those engines bitches!Peace and Luv, Xan x
ARE YOU KEEPING UP WITH THE
In an age where practically anything goes very little surprises me. Reality T.V is a rather odd concept that surprisingly drew me in. Although I cannot sit through an episode of John and Kate plus 8, (Kate minus John equals fun) or even attempt to watch Jersey Shores with such lewd characters as Snookie and The Situation (OH PERLEASE) The Kardashians really has me hooked.
I’m not exactly sure what the allure of The Kardashians is for me and before you ask it no it’s not just that Rob is hot or that I’m trying to work out which one of my Grandmothers friends Bruce will resemble this week. I think it’s more about escapism. Whilst my life is pretty exciting being a Z-List celeb I guess the trappings of the Hollywood socialite speaks to me in a way that sparks my interest for 30 minutes a week.
Although the show is clearly staged as no-ones life is that dramatic except maybe mine it kinda keeps your attention. If Kim isn’t obsessing about her latest accessory then Kris is thinking up new ways to emasculate her man and controlling her family. Bruce Jenner, lovingly referred to as Kruce Kardashian is a former Olympic athlete who is better known for his bad plastic surgery and a one time appearance in the Village People movie, you can’t stop the music.
The siblings Kim and Khloe share a penchant for black football players. Kim dates the hunky Reggie Bush, who plays for the New Orleans Saints and are rumored to be tying the knot. Khloe, is married to Lamar Odom who plays for the Lakers and all I can say is girls does either of them have a gay brother and any chance of kicking me an intro?
Kourtney is dating the roguish Scott Disick who after a period of separation reconciled with the Dash doll in Florida and got her in the family way. The Long Island native is now the proud father of Mason and I guess there will be no smooching going on there for a while. Kourtney is also co owner of clothing outlets Dash with Kim and Khloe, and Smooch with Kris Jenner.
Rob (Robert George Kardashian Jr.) is the youngest of Kris’s brood to Robert Kardashian Senior now deceased who was one of the team of lawyers for the O.J trial, the first one that is. Rob dated Adrienne Bailon a New Yorker of Cheetah Girls fame, well that is till he cheated on her. Until Khloe got married they hadn’t spoken for over 6 months and when Rob tried for reconciliation he found out she had a new beau. Poor Rob, love him or hate him you surely have to feel a little sorry for him.
Finally there’s Kendall and Kylie who are Kris’s children to Bruce Jenner. These girls are really coming into there own and are gonna be a handful if there older sisters are anything to go by. They will be the next generation of reality T.V stars and I’m sure there will be yet another offshoot of Keeping up, then again we may all be surprised an find that they have some discernable talent other than having famous relations or just looking good. Bruce has 4 other children from previous marriages and Brody Jenner is seriously sexy.
This team of hoi polloi celubutantes wows us weekly with tales of lost dogs, fights, broken hearts, fashion shoots and all the glamour, glitz and trappings of life on the brink of Hollywood. It has frighteningly replaced anything that resembles true talent and although it masquerades as entertainment it is scarily entertaining.
Reality television started out as a cheap way to make a T.V show and really caught on but is it at the expense of legitimate shows? Keeping up with Kardashians like it predecessor The Osbourne’s can surely only have a limited shelf life, but I am sure it will be a springboard for the careers of those involved. Watch this space for my reality show “Making It” which will be available for syndication very soon. Keep it up Kim Kris and the Krew, and give my love to Rob x
Peace and Luv, Xan x
TABATHA'S SALON TAKEOVER December 13th
Tabatha Coffey is a world renowned Australian Hairdressing guru with inimitable style and eye for what for works in the world of salon success and etiquette. Her TV show Tabatha’s Salon take over is absolutely addictive. I saw the first series when time permitted but now with the aid of DVR I don’t miss a trick.
So in a nutshell the show is about salon owners whose businesses are not doing so well for whatever reason and want things to change. Tabatha observes the business practices, stylists and the general goings on in order to troubleshoot and identify ways to improve the business and general functionality.
The clue really is in the title of the show. She really does take over and she takes no prisoners, and she takes no shit. Those who are clearly resisting change and some of them really do get upset at being challenged see her balls of steel. The business is made over, the salon is made over and attitudes really do change for the better.
I can honestly say although I don’t know the first thing about hairdressing I see the clear methodology of the process and the end product is a high functioning, profitable salon with staff that are given a kick up the ass in order the get them moving. I have to say part of the allure for me is the fact that Tabitha’s style is so hands on and she looks amazing. I triple love strong women. Any chance of a trim Tabatha?
For those of you who have been unfortunate enough not to see this diva in action I urge you to check her out on Bravo, Tuesdays 10/9C. Set your DVR now.
Love & Peace Xanx
JOE THE HOMOPHOBE May 7th
So for those of you that didn’t already know I am gay, homosexual, fruity, a guy who likes guys, etc and very out and proud. Shock horror, “Oh Xander we thought you where dating Kourtney Kardashian” (Nope that was just a rumor, but I am kinda crushing on Rob right now) Well as you can tell from my tone I’m a little pissed, and I don’t often swear in my journalistic undertakings.
Cast your mind back to the US election race where Johnny Mac and Palin trundled every sad republican wannabe possible onto the main stage in order to boost their flagging campaign. JoeWurzelbacher, AKA Joe the Plumber who became an overnight sensation (yeah) as the average Joe, has recently said in an interview gay people are “queers” and he wouldn’t want them near his children.
Frankly I wouldn’t wanna be near his children if they have evolved with the same discriminatory attitudes as their father. Frankly it’s a bloody cheek to infer that because you’re Gay you shouldn’t be near children. It’s archaic and is clearly designed insight hatred, which is concerning as his comments where to a Christian magazine. Where is the Love Joe the Homophobe?
Whilst I believe in freedom of speech I feel that we really have to be very careful and concise about what we say and how we generalize about people and sections of the community. It is doubly insulting to hide behind God, and even hide behind the GOP with such outbursts. I am heartened by the fact that educated people are able to separate between fact and dumb assumptions and the irresponsible mumblings of a wannabe tradesman.
Diversity is what makes America great and what tears at the fabric of its greatness is the unwillingness to live and let live. We don’t have to like everybody or even agree but we do have to co-exist and not be apologetic for who we are. As with most haters Joe said “he has had friends who are gay” which is typically the response of someone who needs to plaster over bias.
So Joe the Homophobe yes as you ineloquently stated the dictionary does show that controversially SOME people use the word “queer” to refer to gay, lesbian, bisexual and trans gender people but it’s mostly considered in polite society to be derisive terminology. Maybe more derisive than “Homophobic Wannabe” but I will leave that to individual interpretation.
Love & Peace Xanx
RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE March 23rd
For anyone who didn’t see RuPaul’s Drag Race on Logo/VH1, honey ya really missed out. Check the listings for repeats or go out and find the DVD right now. I kid you not this was the best TV in ages.
This show was a breath of fresh air and the most original reality series I have ever seen. It managed to take me through the range of emotions I laughed, I cried, I bitched and I grew accustomed to these Drag babies that Diva RuPaul birthed forth onto our screens.
The idea of the show was for the contestants to embody the qualities displayed by the lovely Ru and via a series of interesting and diverse challenges to prove to us they where America’s next drag superstar. Start those engines boys and may the best woman win.
The contestants where all very interesting individuals with there own stories to tell. I associated with them all on one level or another and had my favorites marked out very early on in the game. I loved Miss Nina Flowers, as both himself and as a performer was very beautiful and his inner beauty shone through. Miss Glasscock although stunning bared her teeth far to often for me.
I was equally transfixed by Shannel, Bebe and Ongina who brought there own brand of personality to the mix. I am so glad I wasn’t a judge on the show and I really didn’t envy Ru having the final decision of saying shante you stay or sashay away. Ru was super fair throughout. The judges where all very succinct in there summations and I unusually was in agreement 95% of the time.
My favorite challenges had to be the girl group challenge and the video challenge on the final episode and as you can imagine as a singer I really wanted to get in on that part. It came as no surprise who the final three where Nina Flowers, Rebecca Glasscock and Bebe but to be honest they where all winners in my book and displayed an amazing level of talent, beauty and charisma. Watch this space!
RuPaul’s phraseology cracked me up throughout and at the beginning of each challenge she said “Don’t fuck it up” very to the point me thinks. In the reunion show I was running to the printer to make a T -shirt that read: RuPaul says “You’re a fucking star” or "Lip Sync for Your Life". I do hope that if there is merchandise of this nature that there will be big sizes Ru.
This innovative program will leave some very big vacant stilettos in the time slot and I look forward to series 2. I wish to congratulate Bebe Zahara Benet, thank all of the contestants, judges and all who made possible for some wickedly fierce TV. And last but never least RuPaul supermodel of the world I love you girlfriend.
Love & Peace Xanx
THE PRICE OF AN OPINION - March 16th
For those of us lucky enough to live in societies where we demand the right to have our say and the right to protest, the recent sentence handed down to Iraqi journalist Muntazer Al-Zaidi of 3 years in prison should disgust us all beyond belief.
In December last year Mr. Al-Zaidi threw his shoes at former President Bush as a protest to the war in Iraq. He also hurled insults at Bush calling him a dog and stating that the shoes where a farewell kiss from widows, orphans & those who had died in the conflict. I hasten to add that the shoes did not hit the intended target as he skillfully ducked out of the way.
Apparently Mr. Al-Zaidi could have been sentenced to up to 15 years in prison for his attempted protest against the war. Ironically Bush shrugged of the incident at the time and even joked about it later. The Iraqi government said his actions where shameful. The sentence seems more than harsh in the circumstances and certainly doesn’t fit the crime.
It reminded me of the incident in the U.K where Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott was egged by angry protester Craig Evans. The offending article did in fact hit Prescott and he punched Evans in the face where upon a fight ensued. The pair had to be separated as Prescott was led away with egg on his face literally.
The Crown prosecution Service in the U.K determined that no useful purpose would be served by prosecuting Evans and the matter was dropped. Whilst I in no way uphold any kind violence it really seems a sad conclusion to this situation. If this had been an American or British citizen I am convinced the outcome would have been a simple slap on the wrist or a fine.
More recently UK MP Peter Mandelson had green custard thrown into his face by Leila Deen in protest to a proposed new runway at London’s Heathrow airport. Deen walked away without arrest, detention or any kind of intervention although apparently Scotland Yard is looking in to the matter. Maybe she will get 10 years or even the gallows?
It seems that Mr. Al-Zaidi was charged with assault which is odd as no assault occurred even though one was attempted. His 25 strong defense team could not prevent the custodial outcome. Appeals are apparently in progress and it is alleged that the decision was political rather than judicial, and I wonder just who the Iraqi courts wanted impress.
In conclusion the price of an opinion is clearly 3 years currently but we live in hope of equality for all.
Love and Peace Xan x
ROSIE O'DONNELL'S NEW MOVIE -AMERICA March 1st
America is an amazing movie that tackles the subjects surrounding the problems of the foster care system in the USA. Based on the book by E.R. Frank, Rosie O’Donnell has skillfully and sensitively portrayed the story of America Vega a 16 year old about to time out of the system.
Although this is a dramatization it seems to be very true to life and is a serious depiction of the growing problem that needs to be addressed and improved upon urgently. We see flashbacks of this boy’s life who feels unloved, uncared for and as though he has no-one to rely on. The saddest thing about this movie is that it is happening every day to children trapped in this system.
Rosie also directed and starred in the movie and plays Dr. Maureen Brennan a Therapist in the facility where America lives, and helps him to get his life back on track. The casting is perfection and you really wouldn’t believe that this is Philip Johnson’s first acting gig. His depiction of America was truly amazing and he really owned the role. When he meets a girl he finds a glimmer of hope that someone might really care. She has her own problems but this does not prevent them from bonding.
Ruby Dee’s gave us her usual exemplary performance. You will remember her from such things as The Stand and The Golden Girls to name but a few. She has been an activist for years and marched for civil rights. As Mrs. Harper she shows America some love, something the boy was sadly short on.
O’Donnell a foster parent herself has adopted children and apparently was so moved by the book she wrote the screenplay to highlight the plight of the systems forgotten children. This is clearly a direct cry and a ringing bell to get people to look at the situation and I think people should take notice.
Apparently a high percentage of children leaving the system either end up dead or in prison. These are America’s children that are being let down.
I found myself drawn to want to do something or at least try to make things a little better so I’m checking out http://www.nationalcasa.org/ to see what can be done. Check it out and see what you can do too.
Love & Peace Xan
MICHAEL PHELPS- ISN'T IT
TIME TO LEAVE THE KID ALONE? February
It seems Michael Phelps has been criticized recently after a picture of him was published in the newspapers smoking pot. (Shock horror) Whilst I do not advocate the use of drugs I pose this question. Isn’t it time to leave the guy alone?
He’s 23 yrs old and I don’t know many people his age that don’t get drunk, smoke pot or something worse. Surely the moral majority need to think back to their youth and the things that they have experimented with. None of us are innocent and to wax biblical “let he who is without sin cast the first stone”. No pun intended.
As for him being a role model and I guess he is although he has never referred to himself in that way. Society deemed him to be such. For anyone let alone a 23 yr old this is a lot to live up to. The media builds these people up and can’t wait to rip them down. This a double recoup for them and let’s face it, its parasitical. Michael Phelps apologized publicly and even lost endorsements over this. He has also been suspended from the US swim team. Some would say this was just the first time he was caught. One thing that we all forget is that celebrities whether athletes, singers, actors or whomever are all human and fallible.
Once again the media have a responsibility in all of this. They hype people up to be superhuman and then beat them with a rolled up newspaper when they find out that there not. By no means do I condone Michaels actions but how long should he be criticized? How long should he be punished for making a mistake? With drugs being such a big problem in society as whole I guess this is partly why people are very critical. You don’t stop people from taking drugs by simply saying “Don’t do it!” Leading by example is another theory but isn’t a guarantee that people wont take drugs. We all make our own choices.
Inevitably people will let us down and make mistakes but surely a part of redemption is forgiveness. As a society have we become so celebrity obsessed that when they mess up we feel we have a right to ensure that they receive justice, but as we expect another chance then surely celebrities deserve this opportunity too.
Peace & Love Xan
I BACK BARACK - WILL YOU? November
Please vote on November 4th. Don't look just at what the candidates say that affects you. Take a holistic approach based upon the merits of their agenda and how it will affect all of us. I believe that Barack Obama is an instrument of change and that he can make America a better place. No candidate is perfect but some are better than others. Senator Obama has the drive to be a force for good not just for this great nation but also on the worlds political stage.
We have to take account of the standards we have seen and act upon them according to conscience. The proof of the pudding will be in the eating and we really owe it to ourselves to get out there and vote on the day. No amount of name calling and mud slinging will ever truly effect those of us who are educated enough to see through it. We want real change not empty unachievable half promises.
I challenge us all to make a difference on November 04 because we can. God bless America.
YES WE CAN. VOTE OBAMA.
R.I.P ESTELLE GETTY July 22nd
Yesterday we waved a fond farewell to the amazing actress Estelle Getty. She was 84 years old and had been suffering from dementia. As a veteran actress she will probably be remembered most for her role of Sophia The Golden Girls. Her character really was a hoot, and had the ability to hold your attention and command a wide variety of emotions. The Golden Girls was an international success and she had several spin off series, playing the same role including The Golden Palace and Empty Nest.
Estelle was in many other things including my personal favorites Mannequin, The Mask and Stop or my mom will shoot. She will be missed and I have to admit it made me sad to think that she had gone. She really was an inspiration and her work is still as funny today as when it was originally aired. Apparently The Golden Girls box set is now available and I think I will be treating myself to it in the not too distant future.
In a way I have to agree with Rue McClanahan when she said, "Don't be sad at her passing, She will always be with us in her crowning achievement as Sophia".
See ya Stelle xx
THE HAPPENING - THE
So yes I saw 2 movies in 2 weeks but don't go thinking I'm an avid movie goer. Firstly because not only do you have to get to the Theatre, stand on line (even if you are on the guest list), ignore the sickly buttery smell in the air, and that's before you get through the entrance and also you have to dress up or at least wear clothes anyway.
Well lets get to The Happening, or should I say The Odd Event. The plot was existent, but only if you kept your eyes open long enough in between blood, guts, gore and the attempts of Marky Mark Walberg to save the world, or at least the North Eastern continent of the U.S. This road trip gone mad attempts to utilize the excellence of the likes of Walberg, Jon Leguiziamo, and Zooey Deschanel, but the watery script fails them. If you blinked you would certainly miss Leguiziamo's brief but odd performance, in what one can only described as an odd movie.
Marky Mark plays Science teacher Elliot Moore in Philadelphia who takes on the world as all good Science teacher's do, aided by a crazy hot dog obsessed nursery owner, go figure. These Science detectives figure why what is happening is happening, with crazy hunches and scientific theories and stuff. Even by the end of this obscure 90 minute movie, I wasn't sure if I was watching a comedy or a good 'ol American horror movie. It was like Day of the triffids meets Soca on the road to Cairo, via New York, Boston and the boon docks.
I have to admit my friends and I did laugh all the way through in between shock and horror. The visual and sound effects where excellent, although the shaky filming made me a little seasick. Described as a paranoid thriller, but why I am unsure the film was not a total waste of time but I really think you need to check it out yourself to form a qualified opinion. The question that lingers for me is if Marky Mark is too old to wear such tight jeans? Beware the hot dog man and Mrs.Jones!
Peace and Luv, Xan x
SEX AND THE CITY - THE
Rather than waiting for the DVD of SEX to become available, last night, I actually saw the Movie. Although the reviews have been mixed pertaining to the exploits of Ms. Bradshaw and co I was sure I would enjoy their offering being a long standing fan of the series. Most TV. shows that end up on the big screen really lose the plot and become an extravaganza of cameos and craziness. This movie was a surprise from beginning to end. It was rather like a homecoming, or meeting up with girlfriends I hadn't seen for some time.
This emotional roller coaster had me crying, laughing, and crying again. The plot took the time to backtrack a little, to how we had left the girls at the end of the last series, and gave us insight into what had been occurring to date. The acting was amazing, and although these where characters that the actors where familiar with, they rose to the challenges of evidencing the maturing of these girls, now women, we know and love.
I don't want to give away too much of the plot, but it wasn't exactly what I was expecting. It was melancholic in the way it reminded you of your own life's conquests and achievements and growth alongside the timeline of these Manhattan gals! It really left you totally aware that your pals where ok, and gonna do fine, even in the face of adversity. It was a hopeful movie that left me feeling good, but wanting more. Though I doubt there will be another series, another movie would be nice, but I do admit my bias. Although my cameo was cut, I urge you to check it out soon.
Peace and Luv, Xan x
THE BATTLE OF THE DAVID'S May
Along with millions of others last night I watched the finale of American Idol. This Idol episode made living history in that Simon Cowell actually apologized for his over zealous comments the night before. It shows how wrong you can be as I was totally convinced that Archuletta had won and was totally home and dry. I guess lots of people thought this after the performances the night before but an amazing 12 Million more people voted for Cooke than Archuletta.
No doubt about it they are both amazing singers, and will have amazing careers. They are both different types of singers and have totally different styles. Talent will always shine through, but you can be the best singer in the world but if the style and content and quality aren't equal then something has to give. The David's where both equally deserving of the winners medal, and knew it, but the world voted, and thank God that the final decision was the publics, and not Cowell's.
Congratulations to David Cooke, but fear not we haven't seen the last of David Archuletta, he has already appeared on a TV ad for a well known games manufacturer. (No free ads on my site LOL) Ryan returns to producing "Keeping up with Kardashians" and selling Avon! Oh I forgot about E!, You gotta love Seacrest.
Peace and Luv, Xan x
CLINTON/OBAMA BETTER CALL YA MAMA May
So please raise your hand now if you are as sick of the political circus as I am. Phew, well I'm glad to see its not just me. It is clearly become nauseas for all involved, let alone all who share the planet. I feel it such a shame that political debate always come down to a mud fight, and not a white collar debate as our apparent ascension in life would dictate. Next we will have Hillary's kindergarten teachers giving their opinions on life, the U.S. and everything. I mean come on, really who cares? My minister would have lots to say I'm sure.
How wonderful in 2008 we have both a female candidate and a black candidate, which certainly is indicative of America's willingness to change, move onward. I have to wonder however how many members of middle America will vote for either of these candidates for their policies rather than race or gender. When it comes down to the nitty gritty, I wonder how many of us vote based upon a concise study of the policies as a whole. I questioned myself on this and realized that I don't. Like most people I vote on my reaction to the policies that directly affect me and my life.
I am sure I am no different to any of you out there in the way I think, but we do need to think beyond that which affects us, or our particular section of society. The proof of the pudding will be in the eating as my mother used to say. There is one certainty and that is that someone has to win!
Peace and Luv, Xan x
R.I.P BENAZIR BHUTTO December
I am genuinely saddened by the news today that Mrs. Benazir Bhutto was assassinated in Pakistan. I am even more saddened by the fact that in the year 2007 people still kill one another over politics and religion. Why in our enlightened state, we cannot agree to disagree, or even celebrate our differences.
I actually cried when I heard the news. I pray that her death will not be in vain, and I pray for peaceful solutions to all political, religious and social indifference. As someone who as endured the pain of losing a parent, my thoughts are with her family at this time.
R.I.P Mrs. Bhutto, Long Live Democracy!
WHAT PEREZ SEZ, JUST AINT WORTH HEARING August
Perez Hilton ( MARIO LAVAROTOREA) is a celebrity blogger, with no discernable talent apart from bitching those with talent, for being human and fallible. He seems to be obsessed with both Lindsay Lohan, & Britney Spears, Enough already. Way to kick a girl when she is down. His obsession is ridiculous, and I question his sanity, as do most queens, who actually like Brit & Lindsay. We all want them to be given a break, while he twists the knife.
He nearly kacked his pants when Posh Spice, Victoria Beckham accosted him in the cafe he jokingly calls an office. As for offending the general public, we are now to be offended by his nastiness on TV too. His personal brand of whit has not been met with much affection. His propensity for outing celebrities in the closet will not win him any favor in Tinsel town. Just because he is comfortably queer, it is wrong for him to assume that others are too, and to bulldozer in regardless.
My momma told me we all get our just desserts. Lets just hope that someone is around to record you getting yours for prosperity Well at least Diane Warren loves you, and Paris of course. Lucky you.
Peace and Luv, Xan x
ROBIN WILLIAMS ACTOR
Robin Williams has to be the most versatile male actor on the planet, ( AFTER ME OF COURSE) From Mork & Mindy, to Man of the year, and everything in between is all just so damn good. I recently saw Man of the year and really I laughed my tits off from start to finish.
It actually got me thinking about Mrs. Doubtfire ( BRACE YOURSELF EFFIE) and how well Robin is able to mould himself into any role he is given. I then began to wonder, what next, where could he go from here. What hasn't Robin Williams played before?
A Gay Guy I thought, nope, he played one in The Birdcage. Peter Pan, I thought, nope he played him in Hook, and the list went on and on, and on.
I finally gave up as there was nothing I could think of that he could play, that he hasn't played before. If anything springs to mind please drop me an e-mail. He certainly wins this months Xander Gibb award for hilarity (YES THERE IS ONE) for making me laugh till I cried. Keep up the good work Robin.
KATHY GRIFFIN WOMAN OF THE YEAR! July
I have very few addictions nowadays, apart from food (OBVIOUSLY), and sex ( ONCE AGAIN OBVIOUSLY), and of course and Kathy Griffin. I have been on the phone several times to the Samaritans since the series ended, seems I am not alone. To top it all off I am chomping at the bit wondering if there will be another series of My life on the D list.
The self proclaimed D Lister, is the most honest and down to earth celebrity I have ever seen. In the last series, we saw stuff about her divorce, worries, fears, tears, and even losing her Father. How many other shows display this level of candor and honesty. She smacks of being very normal, but is amazingly intense and very talented.
Her stand up leaves me rolling on the floor. She is not afraid to say what she thinks and then some. I am glad she is Pals with Ms. Lohan now. Allegedly they shared a cob salad in a swanky Hollywood restaurant recently. I hear she also intends adopting Dakota Fanning. Bet Pom-Pom and Chance will be pleased!
I have e-mailed Miss Griffin on several occasions in the vain hope of getting a response of maybe "Suck it bitch" or maybe she could leave a naughty message on my MYSPACE page but nothing. Alas this is how life is for me be on the "Z" list, but a girl can dream cant she. I will however be petitioning Bravo, to ensure the return of her show next season!
Peace and Luv, Xan x
WATCH OUT THE BECKHAM'S ARE COMING! July
The latest American craze seems to be Soccer, or Football as the Brits call it. To this end they have secured the services of none other than Mr. David Beckham, or should I say Mr. Posh Spice. The downside of Beck's arrival in the States is that he will be bringing along none other than Sicky Vicky, Ex, soon to be again Spice Girl, Victoria Addams-Beckham and the brood! L.A. has had quite a cool reaction and I wonder if they will be able to match the heights of popularity reached in the U.K.
L.A. already homes Ex and soon to be again Spicers, and my old Mukka, Melanie Brown AKA Scary Spice, and Geri Ginger Minger Halliwell! How much can one state handle. David is indeed very sexy and a world class football player to boot, but Vicky love, don't give up your day job. Oops, too late, you did until the Spice Girls tour again at the end of the year.
The Spice Girls allegedly earned a reported 10 Million pounds each from "The Spice Girls". This coupled with Victoria's earnings from her solo career, mounts up to a cool 10 Million pounds. I suppose her hubby has few quid though so she is not gonna starve.
Vicky has already become enamored with Hollywood's glitterati and as Perez Hilton has slagged her off a few times, she now has her head, well and truly ensconced up his ass, and vice versa. Always the way with Perez, (or Parasite as myself and Elizabitch call him) slags you off till you befriend him. He just wont leave me alone he is my stalker. We shall see what the future has in store for The Beck's in the U.S. but I really do wish them well.
Peace and Luv, Xan x
HAPPY 4TH OF JULY July
"Boston Harbor, kick out those bloody Brits" "Ooh, I bet they missed Pork Pies, Fish & Chips, & Coronation Street
Apparently today is the day when Americans kicked British Ass!, and sent them packing back to England. This is indeed a fact that all Brits in the U.S. will be reminded of today, by rowdy drunken Americans. Quite right I am sure!
Maybe in a way it's a good thing that we don't forget what has gone before, because if nothing else we learn from the past, allegedly. I am so glad that Brits are close to there American cousins, and that we have moved on from those ass kicking days phew!!!!!!
Peace and Luv, Xan x
PARIS WHO? May
Well enough already. Give a girl a break. The only thing we don't know is what color undies she has on and that's if she happens to be wearing any on the particular day in question, and whether or not she had prison sex, or had to bribe the guards for better quality loo roll!
Seriously, I like a bit of celebrity gossip, as much as the next guy (LOL) but please, how much do we need to know about this girl. What I found a source of hilarity however was the fact that Big P, was released from the Big house, because she was claustrophobic, I mean who wouldn't be in that kind of setting.
Maybe she and Martha Stewart should come up with a nice line in Prison Couture. Incarceration, Fashion for Felons!
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