So for those of you on Twitter who may have come across me recently thank’s for embracing the true meaning of Social Networking and following me. Those of you who haven’t come on people get with it. Seriously though, Twitter has been a real education for a minor homo celeb like me. The level of elitism is simply astounding to say the least and clearly some of these guys don’t ever use a bathroom. If they did they would realize where there heads are well and truly stuck.....
Having been on things like Myspace and Facebook for some time I have really used the medium to keep in touch with my followers and those who enjoy my music, writing and comedy on a regular basis. I really noticed the level of elitism on a small scale on Facebook with those who thought that they where far too good to add you and celebs you had maybe met once or twice but they certainly wouldn't consider you as a friend.
I have even been blocked by certain republicans who are none to fond of my openly homosexual rants against the establishment’s attempts to block my civil rights or even when I have called out certain porcine assholes in the media (Rush Limbaugh) but never anything like Twitter. Give it time I hear you say, you have only been on it for a month. I am not going anywhere as I believe you change things from within by whatever means are necessary. Watch out Perez I’m a coming to get you well me and Will-I-Am and several others.
You see the problem with Twitter is that it gives some already swell headed celebrities the Idea that we actually live our lives around what they think about other people and gay celebs are actually 10 times worse. They want you too follow them so they can brag about having 30000 followers but when it comes to responding to you that’s a different matter. You know who you are Claymate! I can see you all thinking now, “oh they must get hundreds of messages every day” and although I appreciate that I think when you put yourself out there you gotta be prepared to respond.
What I find amazingly funny is how most of the comedians can bitch but when you bitch them back its like you have committed a treasonous act. Surely the mark of a true comedian is to be able to out bitch a heckler or so you would think. It would be a great way to find new material from the comments people make to you and with a little tweaking you’d have a new routine. Joan Rivers really cannot take a joke. Of course I don’t think she is attacked by cadaver dogs every time she leaves the house but it's funny right? .
John C. Mayer or John Anniston Mayer to you and I (don’t get me started on what the C stands for) seems to be self appointed star guru to new celebs coming to Twitter. Kanye West recently joined and John told him “welcome to twitter. Try not to use it as a marketing device. Tweeps will see through it. Give them YOU”. I mean please just pass me the barf bag like Guru John Mayer has never peddled his wares on any Social Networking Site or God forbid made a boo boo.
He even tried to enlist Samantha Ronson who was to busy pontificating about the personification of the internet. I mean please do these people think that we buy all this bullshit? I certainly don’t, do you? Celebrities want to sell you their snake oil including me, buy my album http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/xandergibb however I wont be ignoring you on Twitter or any other network. I can honestly say I was happy to pose for pics at pride and shake hands and stuff. Just don’t ask for my phone number unless you are 25 and hot! Seriously whatever your level of celebrity should your accessibility totally disappear?
I know people like Fran Drescher and Kelsey Grammar are very friendly and although they have the level of distance you would expect, they reply and Kelsey has ongoing conversations with people. He even opened up about his divorce on Twitter. Sherrie Shepperd never replies even when I help her out with directions when she gets lost in ....New York.... but that’s cool. She’s on The View you know! Then there are the faux celebs that are not verified and are just hoi polloi pretending to be Tina Turner and such. Funny really I can’t imagine Tina on Twitter. ..Cher.. maybe but not Tina.....
Apparently Amanda Bynes has come out of retirement as she has found her love of acting again one week after she said she would never act again. I mean where the fuck was it hiding under her pile of laundry? This was clearly twitter speak for I haven’t been offered a good role in a while and need to gee up the acting establishment for a few days. Now don’t get me wrong I love my dear Amanda’s body of work but please she’s no Betty White is she? Love ya Chicky x .
Chelsea Handler Lately has a twitter account and so does her dog Chunk. She adds a picture everyday of some body part or other or of Guy Branum dressed in drag, or herself dressed as Dinah Lohan. She even enamors us with pics of her brother Chef Handler whose forehead is so big you could show the handler home movies on it. The one saving grace well two actually are Jiffy Wild and Ryan Basford who are hot, hot, hot. These guys can have my number whenever they want it. I know they want me!
Some folks are on every five minutes linking to their wares. I’m thinking particularly of the Kardashian Klan who have no particular talent but have a famous name. Hey world my name is Gibb. Ever heard of the Bee Gee’s? My new fragrance is coming out next month it’s called Staying Alive. Be careful guys or John Mayer will be busting your Kardashes for using Twitter as a marketing device. Kathy Griffin is on every 5 minutes pushing both hers and her mother’s excellent books and setting gay men up for thrupples. Go figure.
I am sure that as I grow into Twitterville that the residents will eventually accept me as I continue to be heard and stand up to bigotry and idiocy I am sure my following will grow as it has on other networks. The celebrities will either grow to love me or they can live with it. The beauty of living in a democracy and being on a social network is that I am an entitled to my opinion whether A list celebs like it or not. I maybe on the E list but at least I am on a list. You can add me on http://www.twitter.com/XanderGibb or http://www.facebook.com/pages/Xander-Gibb/144088238951666?ref=ts or http://www.myspace.com/xandergibb May the networks be with you and remember celebs are only celebs because you follow them.....
Love & Peace Tweeps, Xan x
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Xander Gibb has written for many publications and writes with an unapologetic response to the world around.